This is my third blog, I have been having such a hard time. My grandmother (who I don’t always get along with) may die, and I can’t tell my best friends, and I failed a test earlier, and to make it worse, I don’t understand anything on the test, which I have to retake, and have to use everything I can to pass. But I have not SI. Somehow, but I just have no idea what to do, everything is so crazy and unknown. Please help.
hmm..
Posted by jane-doe | February 2nd, 2012
Ok.. well. Im not going to be inpatient.. but lets just say… hospital.. physciotrist.. pills.. a few weeks ago i told my councler about my si and depression… therfore… i told my mom because my councler called my mom…etc… but.. yeah… lots of shots and questions tht i already answered thousands of time before… they put me in the room…. a lot of workers kept peeking there heads in and looking shocked.. as if “whos in the suicide room this time.” Yah know? I felt like everyone was staring at me…….welll. they were… interesting experience i tell u.. but i wasnt afraid.. maybe nervous of course.. not afraid
I Told Her…
Posted by foreverunsure | February 2nd, 2012
There was this girl in my class who would talk to me and draw me pictures. She said we were friends, i hide my SI scars but she saw them. She said it was ok she wouldnt tell anyone i knew it was to good to be true. The next day everyone knew i was SI-ing it was horrible i thought i could trust her. Now i don’t tell anyone anything. Now she laughs at me. It hurt more about what she did then what people said to me. But i know i can make more friends i just have to trust them. If anyone could give advice on how to find a good friend or how to deal with bullies i would luv it thanks! 
grroefmpemio
Posted by bkd | February 1st, 2012
ok so. i’m proud to say i haven’t harmed in quite a while now, about a month actually! i feel as if that chapter of my life has finally ended, hopefully. it’s really such a relief, not having to worry about keeping such a big secret from everyone all the time. i won’t say i don’t get the urge to, because i think it’s something that stays with you for a long, long time, but it’s such a good feeling to be strong enough not to give into it. and i know all of you have that inside of yourselves as well! however, i have traded in the s.i. for a new addiction. you can’t tell by looking at my body but i know its damaging me internally, which is even scarier to me. you know, because i can’t see the damage being done. i don’t like feeling like i’ll always have to harm my body in some way to feel okay. but i’m not sure what else will help me, cus this is all i’ve ever known how to do. does anyone know what i mean?
im not okay
Posted by VisiblyPerfect_InvisiblyScarred | February 1st, 2012
Ive lost control yet again…this time my self inury is different tho so i rationalized it. Idk what to do. Im so lost. Four months down the drain. Whats the point of trying anyway?
help i dont get myself
Posted by Sheesha | February 1st, 2012
I think I’m bipolar. I’ve never been to a shrink or anything, but my boyfriend says I’m happy one minute and then super angry/depressed the next. Bipolar disorder and depression run rampid in my family. I’m only sixteen though so idk if its just pms or what.
Lately nothing makes me happy. Well I am happy when I am with my boyfriend but it never lasts. I haven’t self injured in four weeks but its all I think about. I’m also obsessed with death. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just crazy
is this ever going to end?
Posted by Vivi | February 1st, 2012
okay so, if you’ve read my previous posts you know i really like this guy that has a girlfriend and she’s my friend. i can’t date him cuz we’re friends, etc. well, today he texted me and he said that he wanted both me and her. i told him no, that’s not how it’s going to work. he begged and begged for me to change my mind and i told him that i didn’t wanna talk to him anymore, like ever again. that got him pretty upset and he then kept bothering me and saying “no, don’t leave me.” etc. he finally gave in and said the sweetest thing ever and it changed my mind and feelings so drastically. but i honestly don’t know, if he says he “loves me so much” how come he never broke up with his girlfriend in the past? he had so much time and he knew that before this happened i was kind of actually considering breaking girl code and going out with him. so if he did “love” me then we would be together already and he wouldn’t be saying this. i don’t know if he’s saying this to play us both or if he actually means it! if he actually means it he would have broken up with her by now, am i right? so i’m kind of iffy on that. it just made me really upset because he said all that sweet stuff which made me regret ever considering us never talking again, which i hate because i feel like that would be the best thing to do! that’s what a majority of my friend’s have said. another thing that has nothing to do with this is i like this other guy a little bit and he kind of likes me, i know this for a fact. he’s literally the sweetest thing ever and the whole bit. he always texts me and always answers and stuff. but today i texted him and he didn’t answer, i honestly don’t care if you don’t reply for a day cuz you might be busy! but when i got home and went on skype it said he was online and as soon as i chatted him he went from “online” to “away”, like, i have no idea what that’s supposed to mean! i have done nothing to make you ignore me. 
but basically yeah, i’ve been dealing with a lot of guy related things and i just needed to vent about it… because i either vent or self injure. if anyone has any feedback/advice i really wanna hear it! i need it. please.
Confused
Posted by butterflychick | January 31st, 2012
So… I’ve still been struggling against SI. Just not as badly as before… I go… and I try… I try to gain my moms acceptance and talk to her about how her day has been. What does she do? Wonders where my brother is instead. Like I’m not even there. He comes into the room, and his personality immediately grabs her. Immediately she listens to him. I’ve already been in her room, attempting to talk. And as soon as I do, her only response while I’m talking about my friend, is “is that the bi one?”. It’s like whatever… guess I won’t talk if that is my response. So my bro keeps talking, and she completely is paying attention to him… his comedic laid back attitude just covers my depression like I don’t exist. I guess I don’t exist to her. Nothing but dirt now, aren’t I?
I need help
Posted by foreverunsure | January 31st, 2012
i thought hurting myself was the best thing to do with the pain i cause people around me. Even when i walk into a room people laugh or yell at me. At school i cant tell them to stop im mute its rlly hard they scare me, i feel like and ant compared to them. i cry myself to sleep think what it would be like if i could tell them how they make me feel i wish someone would listen i write, and write but they ignore everything i say. im sad because i feel like no one cares for me im only in 8th grade and i SI because i thought it would help.
Mad
Posted by foreverunsure | January 31st, 2012
I’m mad because I’m never good enough for my parents it feels like they don’t care it hurts. i feel like no is ever there for me. but I’m standing there right? i just want them to love me again. They say they understand but to me no one understands how i feel not even myself
